If you’ve seen the 2024 Pixar movie Inside Out 2, you’ve already met the newest emotion moving into the 13-year-old main character Riley’s mind: Anxiety. With her wide eyes, frantic energy and constant planning for what could go wrong, she’s the perfect (and surprisingly lovable) personification of what so many kids feel but often don’t know how to express.
In real life, though, anxiety in kids doesn’t show up with a name tag. It might look like a tummy ache before school, a meltdown over a small change in plans or a child who suddenly doesn’t want to do things they used to love. These are real signs of kids’ mental health struggles, and they can be easy to overlook or misinterpret.
The good news? Once you start to recognize what anxiety might look like in your child, it’s easier to have empathy and respond with evidence-based strategies—and you can make a powerful difference in your child’s life by helping them overcome their anxiety. In this post, we’ll help you spot the signs, explore simple ways of helping kids with anxiety and determine when it might be time to seek extra support.
What childhood anxiety can look like in real life
If you’re picturing a nervous child biting their nails or hiding behind you in a new situation, you’re not wrong. However, anxiety in kids can take many different forms.
“Parents are often surprised to learn that things like stomachaches, headaches or even tantrums can be signs of anxiety,” says Dr. Christina Suh, a pediatrician and Director of Clinical Affairs at Phreesia. “Children don’t always say ‘I’m worried.’ They show us in other ways.”
Other common symptoms of anxiety in kids include:
- Difficulty falling asleep, nightmares or waking frequently
- Irritability or mood swings, especially after transitions
- Avoidance of certain activities, people or places
- Outbursts or meltdowns that seem disproportionate to the situation
- Excessively seeking reassurance
These behaviors are often your child’s way of communicating that something feels overwhelming or even unsafe.
Anxiety can also look different with age and personality. For example, younger children might not know how to describe what they’re feeling, so anxiety may come through as clinginess, separation struggles or stomachaches. Alternatively, tweens and teens might want alone time, become irritable or turn to perfectionism to manage their stress. Some children express anxiety internally and become quiet, withdrawn or people-pleasing, while others show it externally with angry outbursts, defiance or restlessness. No matter how it shows up, it’s all part of the same story: Your child is trying to cope with a world that feels too uncertain.
Responding with empathy and connection
If you’re a parent who sees these signs in your child, you aren’t alone and there are proven ways you can help. Here’s how.
- Validate their emotions. Acknowledge what your child is feeling, even if it seems irrational to you. Avoid saying things like “You’re fine,” or “There’s nothing to worry about.” Instead, try phrases like:
- “It’s okay to feel nervous sometimes. Let’s take a few deep breaths together.”
- “That sounds really hard. I’m here with you.”
- Create predictable routines. Kids thrive with consistency and feel safer when they know what to expect. Regular routines for meals, bedtime and transitions can ease a child’s internal stress. For younger children, visual schedules or checklists can also be helpful.
- Gently challenge avoidance. Avoiding scary things can make anxiety stronger. Instead of removing the challenge, find ways to support them through it. For example:
- Attend part of an event, then gradually increase time.
- Break tasks into manageable chunks.
- Talk through the plan together ahead of time.
- Celebrate even the smallest acts of bravery.
- Teach simple coping skills. Introduce the following tools to manage stress in the moment:
- Grounding techniques: Ask your child to notice five things he can see, four things he can feel, three things he can hear, two things he can smell and one thing he can taste. This technique brings a child’s attention back to the present moment instead of staying stuck in anxious thoughts.
- Worry journals: Kids often carry worries around in their heads with no outlet. Writing or drawing them out helps externalize those fears so they don’t feel so big or all-consuming.
- Box breathing: This technique helps kids slow down their breathing and feel more in control—like pressing a reset button for their emotions. Here’s how it works: Inhale for four counts, hold your breath for four counts. Exhale for four counts, hold again for four counts. Ask your child to draw a square in their air with their finger as they breathe.
- Partner with your child’s school. Your child’s teacher, school counselor and other support staff can be valuable allies in helping your child face their anxiety. School-based counseling, check-in systems and other intervention programs may be available.
When (and how) to seek professional help
Many kids experience bouts of anxiety from time to time. But if your child’s anxiety is starting to interfere with daily life—school, friendships, sleep, eating, family routines—and doesn’t improve with simple coping strategies, it may be time to seek extra support.
Your child’s pediatrician is often the first stop when you’re concerned about anxiety. They can rule out any underlying physical issues—especially if your child is complaining about stomachaches, headaches or sleep problems—and help you understand if what you’re noticing is developmentally typical.
“As pediatricians, it’s our job to help families sort through what we expect as normal behavior and when it’s time to bring in more specialized support,” Dr. Suh explains.
Sometimes anxiety is persistent enough that more specialized care is needed. In that case, a child and adolescent psychiatrist might be the right next step. This type of specialist brings a deeper level of expertise when:
- Anxiety is severely affecting your child’s ability to function.
- Symptoms haven’t improved with basic strategies or therapy alone.
- There may be other conditions like depression, OCD, ADHD or trauma.
- You’re exploring treatment options like medication.
A psychiatrist can provide a full mental health evaluation and offer specialized treatment plans tailored to your child’s care needs. They can also prescribe medications (when appropriate) as part of a larger care plan. If your child has diagnosed anxiety, you’re not alone. In fact, data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) suggests that 10% of children ages 3–17 have an anxiety diagnosis.
Getting specialized support can be life-changing—not just for your child, but for your whole family. Finding a psychiatrist who specializes in working with children and adolescents can be tricky. That’s where MediFind’s “Find a Doctor” tool comes in. MediFind uses objective medical data about each doctor to help you easily compare physicians based on the following criteria:
- Their experience treating children with anxiety
- Their research contributions and publications related to anxiety
- Referrals from other specialists
- Connections with other experts treating anxiety
MediFind gives providers an expertise score—elite, distinguished, advanced or experienced—for each specific condition, so it is easy to know at a glance which doctors are the best for that condition. A doctor isn’t bad if they aren’t considered elite in a given condition, there just may be other doctors with more experience and expertise.
Anxiety is normal every now and then, but it doesn’t have to rule your child’s life. Find a Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist using MediFind’s “Find a Doctor” tool—try it here.
